Time of the month
by legallyblained
Summary: Kurt and Blaine's daughter has her first period.


Sophie had been dreading this. She'd heard horror stories from girls in her class of public disasters and red versions of Niagara Falls and crippling cramps, but it wasn't quite that bad. It was just waking up at 2am feeling a bit weird and realising her sheets were stained. It was a perfectly normal thing to go through and she'd done the research for herself so she knew the science behind it, but she hadn't found out what to do. She didn't know how to work the washing machine. She didn't know how to use tampons or sanitary towels or anything. She didn't even think there were any in the house. Why would there be? She was the only one who would need them, and as far as anyone knew she didn't have any use for them yet. She wanted to Call Grandma Carole or Aunt Rachel, but even though she knew they would rush over in a heartbeat she couldn't bring herself to wake them up at 2am. There were only two people she could really talk to, and if it had been about anything else, she wouldn't have minded, but she had to go and tell her dads that she'd started her period and ask them what to do, knowing they'd probably be as clueless as her.

The best parenting in the world didn't make it any easier for a fourteen-year-old girl to discuss with her fathers the fact that there was blood coming from her genitals.

She changed into clean pyjamas, including the top even though she didn't need to, because she wanted them to match. She took the sheets off her bed and bundled everything together so the blood wouldn't be visible and stuffed it all in her laundry basket. She took a deep breath and pushed her dads' door open timidly.

"Dad?"

Theirs heads didn't move from their pillows, but they both mumbled a sleepy 'Hmm?'

"I, um… I have a problem."

Blaine pushed himself up onto his elbow, rubbing his eyes but looking concerned. He reached clumsily behind him to switch his light on. Kurt flinched and buried his face in his pillow, but was the first to come out with actual words.

"What's wrong, honey?"

She'd heard his muffled pillow voice enough times to be able to understand him.

"Well, it's, um… a girl thing. _The_ girl thing. I just woke up, and, uh… yeah."

The penny dropped for both of them at the same time.

"Oh. Okay. We, um, we have stuff…" They'd been prepared for ages. They'd spoken to Rachel. They'd practised the speech and bought everything she could possibly need and they were going to talk to her over a year ago but it was so much easier to put it off. Kurt slid out of the bed and walked over to Sophie, smiling in the most comforting way he could. They all knew this was going to be awkward, but they had to pretend it wasn't.

"My sheets… they're in my basket-"

"No problem; I'm on it," Blaine piped up, climbing out of bed and staggering into her room, eyes still not opening properly.

Kurt put his hands on Sophie's shoulders and kissed the top of her head as he walked her to the bathroom. He opened the cabinet and got everything out, laying it on the floor and sitting cross-legged in front of it. Sophie sat opposite him. They both took a deep breath.

"Right. Any ideas?"

"None."

"I'll tell you one thing, Soph; I don't envy you. Do you feel like crap?"

She shook her head.

"Not yet. I mean, kind of gross, but no cramps or anything."

There was a pause. They looked at one another for a few seconds then burst out laughing.

"Isn't this supposed to be really awful? Aren't you supposed to be all secretive and embarrassed and ashamed of your uterus?"

She snorted and shrugged.

"I guess you shouldn't have been such a good dad. Then maybe I'd push this conversation on someone else and you wouldn't have to deal with it."

"Damn; I knew I was going to regret being so great. OK, let's try and figure this out."

Five minutes later, Blaine traipsed back up the stairs and was about to fall back into bed when he heard Kurt and Sophie laughing hysterically in the bathroom. He stumbled across the still-dark landing to where the noise was coming from and walked in on his husband and daughter cackling on the bathroom floor. Sophie was sticking a sanitary towel to Kurt's arm, adding to the several already covering his pyjamas. Blaine cleared his throat and Kurt turned to face him with a tampon up each nostril. He raised an eyebrow.

"I have to say, this isn't the uncomfortable talk I was expecting."

"I was just demonstrating the, uh, the…"

"Apparently they're really useful for stopping nosebleeds. It was in Sex and the City."

Kurt whipped his head around.

"You've seen Sex and the City?"

"If it's any consolation, I'm not going to turn into Samantha any time soon."

"Okay. Just don't be Charlotte."

"Dad, you're kind of a Charlotte."

"Maybe. At least my husband has hair."

Blaine chimed in.

"I don't remember Charlotte covering herself in feminine hygiene products. I don't want to ruin the bonding session, but we need to go back to bed. Let me just-"

He sat down between Sophie and Kurt and grabbed Kurt's arm.

"So, let's pretend your dad's arm is underwear."

"Wow. I never thought I'd hear you say that."

"I'm not the one with tampons up my nose. Be quiet."

Kurt bit his lip so he wouldn't laugh. Sophie was frowning.

"How come you know how to do this?"

"I did my research. I'm a lot more responsible than you think. So, you've done this right already. Now you just need to pull off this part and fold these bits under here to avoid any… problems. Does that make sense?"

Sophie nodded.

"I think so."

"As for the tampon thing, there's a limit to what I can tell you. Although I know for a fact that they don't go up your nose."

Kurt discreetly pulled them out and tossed them in the bin.

"There's instructions in the box and I've printed you off a tonne of stuff I found online, and you can always ask Rachel. I think she's dying to give you the talk actually, if you don't start asking her stuff she'll tell the boys instead. You'll be saving them a lot of awkwardness."

"Gotcha. Rachel, internet, instructions. Seems easy enough."

"Now, your dad and I are going to leave you to it so we can all get some sleep. But first I think you should practise removing the application."

"What?" Kurt's eyes widened.

"Good point. Best to be thorough."

"Exactly. Brace yourself, honey."

"Oh, no, wait-"

Sophie grabbed the towel which was stuck to Kurt's forearm, the only one on bare skin instead of fabric. Blaine and Sophie counted down together.

"3… 2… 1…"

"_Ow_!"

"Don't be such a baby. Or just don't stick stuff to your arm. Come on." Before he got up, he leaned over and kissed Sophie on the head. "I'm really glad you came to us, sweetheart. I know it's a little…"

"It's really not. My friends can't even have this talk with their moms; I think I'm pretty lucky."

Kurt and Blaine grinned simultaneously.

"Not as lucky as us. Love you, Soph."

She rolled her eyes.

"Love you too. Now go to bed, both of you. I'm fine. You might want to be careful tomorrow though, or I'll probably rip your heads off. Night."


End file.
